By dustinhedrick
The Book – Scotts Elementary School
The school I grew up going to a Scott’s elementary. My mom worked as a teacher so I got to start going to elementary school when I was four years old. It wasn’t official or anything but I got to go as long as I didn’t call her mom and I called her miss Hedrick. I made a lot of friends with the people that run the class ahead of me. So I actually got to do kindergarten twice. Not because I had to go but because I wanted to. In that first year of kindergarten I made a really close friend with the boy that was one year older than me. His name was Joseph Warren.
Joseph
Joseph was the best friend a guy could have. We grew up going to each other’s house like every weekend. He and I love the same things. We both loved he-man. Even though I wasn’t allowed to watch He-Man. We both love to read. We both love to draw. We both love to be in the woods. We both love to play outside. We both were able to get around the farm in the woods and play outside very well. And we love to do all the things the boys do. We used to spend a lot of time down at the creek at his house. I remember this one time we were down there and we got our feet stuck in the salamander mud. I had his boots on however whenever I got my foot out I lost one of his boots and we could never find in that mud. We ran all the way back to the house he went to boots me with one. Is mom near killed us because that. And you can imagine what kind of messed two boys make scrambling into a house to get a shower after being in salamander mother the creek up to their knees.
We spent a lot of time playing in their barn. There is a much better in the entire world then climbing around in barns. We would climb up into the hey we climb around and play it was just the best time the boys could have.
Joseph also had a pony. We had horses to but his pony was the coolest. We would ride that pony everywhere all over the place it was so much fun. His dad even built a corral right outside their house.
Joseph’s dad had chicken houses. Inside the chicken houses they’re being hundreds if not 1000 chickens. We would help them pick up eggs and then we would go play. Chores didn’t feel like chores whenever you did them with Joseph.
Whenever we couldn’t go outside because it’s too cold or too wet we make tents right in their living room. Ms. Marlene would let us move all of the furniture around and take big quilts and covers and sheets and make giant tents. We could play in these tenths for hours. It’s amazing how little you watch TV when you’re having this much fun.
Joseph and I used to spend a lot of time outside catching animals and bugs and all kinds of stuff like that. We would turn over rocks and go down the creek and find him and then we would catch them. After we would catch him we would let them go. Most to the time we would. Once we got done we would go back to the house at dark. We would spend the night’s going to the encyclopedias and drawing and writing everything that we saw. I never knew two boys that would rewrite encyclopedias. We literally did this every time we were together. It’s probably what made me so well read.
When Joseph would come over to my house he was so good to play with me in my brother Shannon. He always included my little brother and we would have the greatest times together as the three of us played.
From the time Joseph was in kindergarten to to the time he was in fourth grade we were thick as thieves. We literally spent every weekend at each other’s houses. They were probably only a couple weekends of the entire years that we knew each other that we did not spend in each others houses. Those are probably weekends for holidays but even as those we would spend any days we have a school together. Whole chunks of the summer we would spend each other’s house too. Since we were only a few miles from each other’s house it was very easy for parents to drop us off. My mom says even to this day it was like we had another brother.
And then there was this one weekend…
I will never forget this weekend to save my life. Joseph it said that he want to come over to my house and then it was his turn to come over. But for some reason I did I didn’t want to get together I don’t really remember why. I actually never told anybody about this except for Lori and a couple others later here in life. But as a child I never told anyone. I guess I felt too much guilt and shame and regret.
Later that weekend my mom and dad took me to my grandmothers house and left me there with my little brother and didn’t tell me what was going on. They had gotten a call from Joseph’s mother and it was not good. There’s been a horrible accident. And I was too young to really know about it. When my mom and dad came back home from the hospital they really upset. They came in and sat me down and told me that Joseph had been in a horrible accident. Even though I forgotten a number of things for my life due to later events, health and trauma, I’ve never actually forgotten this day. On my grandmothers floor I remember I fell down and wept as my mom and dad told me that Joseph was dying. Can you imagine telling your eight-year-old boy that his best friend he was close as a brother was dying after four years of such close relationship? Can you imagine being a child being told that someone that was his near and dear to them as their own self was dying? Some of you’ve experienced this. We have something in common.
As I lie on the floor I remember praying heal him Jesus heal him please heal him.
Joseph was not healed.
I don’t know why I actually expected Joseph to be healed. I didn’t actually know anyone that was healed. The church I grew up and didn’t believe in supernatural healing. And after my prayer wasn’t answered neither did I.
In my head I can still see the image of the funeral at the little church and the graveside. I was an honorary pallbearer. These things stick with you all your life. This loss this emptiness I felt left me in a place where there was something missing. It even hardened me toward God though I love God I just felt like he was very far away. From that moment I begin to pray every day that I could die too so I could be in heaven with Joseph. I often cried and spent time alone in my room. My mom was really worried that I was too depressed. I was too depressed I didn’t want to live anymore. I immediately started having recurring dream. In the dream Joseph and I were escaping a monster. The monster was coming up the staircase at a house that look much like his house. We would run upstairs screaming and hide under the couch. Joseph never made it under the couch. As the monster would grab him I would awaken. I had this dream literally every night. I was tormented at the loss of my friend. And I was fearful of sleeping. I remember that my mom and dad did not like me coming to their room. So because I knew they’d be angry at me and they really didn’t want me nearby I would lie under the edge of the bed and pull the covers and curl them over me from their bed. And I would quietly try to go to sleep and hide under the bed so that I would not be gotten by my fear and I wouldn’t be in trouble with my parents.
Since the depression and the recurring nightmares wouldn’t go away my mom decided to get someone to speak to me. I don’t remember all of the people that tried to counsel me but all I do remember is none of it worked. There was one specific pastor that I love dearly his name was Rev. Raymer and he did try hard. However nothing was successful. Into this day I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten over the loss. I don’t know that I want to. I always want to feel.
I miss Joseph. Much of what I am today is literally built on the kindness and compassion and care I saw in my best friend Joseph. It made it hard for me to care about anyone else deeply. However through healing of God’s touch I would find in my college years that God would not only heal me of my pain but give me deeper love through it.
I would not be who I am today without Joseph.
His name resonates with the story of Joseph in the Bible for me. And now in this season of my life people are saying that I am a “Joseph.” It’s so interesting. This best friend from all those years back had the greatest affect on my life and now part of who I am as a compassionate, open hearted person is due to that little one named Joseph. If for no other reason, I cannot wait till heaven. The same thought is in my mind from all those years back, “I am so glad that Joseph Warren accepted Jesus Christ into his heart as a little boy and that he showed Jesus to me as a friend and that now since Jesus is in my heart I will get to see him again. I cannot wait to see Joseph again.”
BFF!
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